Dichotomy...

I really need some sort of way to climb into bed and go to sleep on cue. I can't afford to be laying in bed with my body too exhausted to do anything useful (like read/study) but my mind still racing. I made the mistake of doing some more job hunting tonight. And so of course now I'm concerned about that and my mind is concocting all sorts of awful scenarios. But I can't have a panic attack about it right now. I've already used up my allotment for the month, so a full-blown crying-in-the-closet breakdown is just going to have to wait a few more days. Fortunately, I think my living situation either here in ATL or in Fairfax has at least temporarily resolved itself, so when I graduate and have no job, at least I'll have a place to live until I find a job and a new apartment. But there's a million other things rattling around in my brain and I just can't seem to silence all those thoughts so I can get some rest. Between all the schoolwork I still have to do and Coca-Cola losing another copy of my W2 so I'm probably going to have to file for an extension on my taxes (nothing but a bunch of idiots at that company...) and graduating and job hunting and my future with Emily and my potential plans for the summer regarding Warped Tour, I swear, most of my life I've felt so strong-minded, but recently there have been times that I feel like the world is caving in on me and the slightest thing could trigger a complete nervous breakdown. And all I want to do is put all of that out of my head for a few minutes, close my eyes, and wait for my alarm clock to lure me out of my slumber. Stupid brain...

Posted by Rev. Adam on Monday, March 29, 2004 at 4:33 AM | Permalink