Here's to digging up the past... *clink* *sniffle*
Every time I root through my old letters I feel like it's time to throw them all away and move on with my life. I mean, it's not like I sit in my room and obsess about what people wrote 5 years ago, it's just that all the people who wrote those notes and letters were (and for the most part, still are) a very big part fo my life. Each of those pieces of paper covered in ink (and sometimes graphite) are reminders of the way things used to be. Reminders of happier times and sadder times. Reminders of hope, despair, anger, love, lust, and jealousy. The events that shaped who I am today are all reflected in soft feminine script. In contrast to my own meathook-hand scribbles, the handwriting is practically a work of art.
As I sat on my bed and sifted through the Forevers and Always, I was reminded of how silly love letters can be sometimes. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've written my share of ridiculous affection-infused psycho-babble. I'm just saying that reflecting on the time it was written, there was no real forethought. I know at the time the feelings were genuine, but it just seems sort of laughable now. The ones that really affect me though are the ones that have nothing to do with Forever or Always. The ones about Now and For As Long.
It's interesting too to flip through the stacks of 8.5 x 11 and realize how quickly you can not only tell who wrote the letter just by the script, but in fact what the mood was based on the slant and the closeness of the words. Makes me think I could have been a forensic detective of some sort. For example, the letters where Melissa is mad at me are often bigger writing that's way more spaced out because she wrote them whiel she was still angry and jsut wrote what came to mind. In contrast, some of Courtney's letters that I know for a fact she rewrote several times are very small characters very closesly spaced because it was planned out. The other big name represented in my stack of letters is Caryn. In fact I would hazard a guess that 75% of my box of words contains papers signed Caryn, Melissa, and Courtney with probably half of that being Melissa.
History is weird sometimes. Things you haven't thought about in 2-3 or maybe 7-8 years are suddenly the most important image in your brain for a full minute. Reliving the past is a scary experience. But I gotta say, I wouldn't change a thing given the chance. Mostly because I'm content reliving my memories every 2 or 3 years through the writing of my friends and I would never want to actually be in high school again.
Thanks to my all friends who felt I was important enough to write to and I'm sorry for all the times I never wrote back. So once again, here's to digging up the past!
Every time I root through my old letters I feel like it's time to throw them all away and move on with my life. I mean, it's not like I sit in my room and obsess about what people wrote 5 years ago, it's just that all the people who wrote those notes and letters were (and for the most part, still are) a very big part fo my life. Each of those pieces of paper covered in ink (and sometimes graphite) are reminders of the way things used to be. Reminders of happier times and sadder times. Reminders of hope, despair, anger, love, lust, and jealousy. The events that shaped who I am today are all reflected in soft feminine script. In contrast to my own meathook-hand scribbles, the handwriting is practically a work of art.
As I sat on my bed and sifted through the Forevers and Always, I was reminded of how silly love letters can be sometimes. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've written my share of ridiculous affection-infused psycho-babble. I'm just saying that reflecting on the time it was written, there was no real forethought. I know at the time the feelings were genuine, but it just seems sort of laughable now. The ones that really affect me though are the ones that have nothing to do with Forever or Always. The ones about Now and For As Long.
It's interesting too to flip through the stacks of 8.5 x 11 and realize how quickly you can not only tell who wrote the letter just by the script, but in fact what the mood was based on the slant and the closeness of the words. Makes me think I could have been a forensic detective of some sort. For example, the letters where Melissa is mad at me are often bigger writing that's way more spaced out because she wrote them whiel she was still angry and jsut wrote what came to mind. In contrast, some of Courtney's letters that I know for a fact she rewrote several times are very small characters very closesly spaced because it was planned out. The other big name represented in my stack of letters is Caryn. In fact I would hazard a guess that 75% of my box of words contains papers signed Caryn, Melissa, and Courtney with probably half of that being Melissa.
History is weird sometimes. Things you haven't thought about in 2-3 or maybe 7-8 years are suddenly the most important image in your brain for a full minute. Reliving the past is a scary experience. But I gotta say, I wouldn't change a thing given the chance. Mostly because I'm content reliving my memories every 2 or 3 years through the writing of my friends and I would never want to actually be in high school again.
Thanks to my all friends who felt I was important enough to write to and I'm sorry for all the times I never wrote back. So once again, here's to digging up the past!
