This is my house in 5 years. You only think I'm kidding. I already have a Trans-Siberian Orchestra record, a loud enough stereo, and a half dozen strings of Christmas lights. This is nothing more than that, plus a microcontroller, a whole bank of relays, and a lot of time-consuming programming. Except I'll have lasers too. And then Emily will take the house in the divorce settlement. So in 6 years it will be at my storage unit I'll be living in...