Dear Mr. Bush,
I would like to apologize for anything negative I had ever said about or your administration. Please pass this sentiment along to Mr. Rumsfeld as well. I would also like to retract any statements I have ever made that could, in any way, be construed in a negative way against the United States, its citizens, its policies, or its leaders. Now that you've wisely signed into law today the Military Commissions Act (after being passed by Congress, in their equally infinite wisdom), I hereby pledge to agree with anything and everything you or agents of your will may say. I wouldn't want my disagreement with or potential criticism of your actions to be interpreted as hostile towards the United States and risk being classified as an enemy combatant by you or Mr. Rumsfeld. Since habeas corpus ad subjiciendum has been now rendered non-existant by the stroke of your pen, I'd rather not do or say anything that has the potential to get me indefinitely incarcerated without any sort of due process. I'm thankful that you are such a trustworthy and intelligent person or else I would be concerned that you might abuse the power to declare anyone (US citizen or not) an enemy combatant, have them arrested and detained forever, never once let them talk to a family member, lawyer, or judge, and do whatever you want to them without any regards for human decency as set out by the Geneva Conventions. This seems like an astonishly despotic power, but I know in your capable hands it will never once be abused. Congratulations on finding a way to keep me safer than ever! I applaud your efforts, and perhaps before January 2009 you can find a way to make yourself permanent ruler of these great United States. Thank you for your time oh great and infallible leader.
Sincerely,
Adam Bever
I would like to apologize for anything negative I had ever said about or your administration. Please pass this sentiment along to Mr. Rumsfeld as well. I would also like to retract any statements I have ever made that could, in any way, be construed in a negative way against the United States, its citizens, its policies, or its leaders. Now that you've wisely signed into law today the Military Commissions Act (after being passed by Congress, in their equally infinite wisdom), I hereby pledge to agree with anything and everything you or agents of your will may say. I wouldn't want my disagreement with or potential criticism of your actions to be interpreted as hostile towards the United States and risk being classified as an enemy combatant by you or Mr. Rumsfeld. Since habeas corpus ad subjiciendum has been now rendered non-existant by the stroke of your pen, I'd rather not do or say anything that has the potential to get me indefinitely incarcerated without any sort of due process. I'm thankful that you are such a trustworthy and intelligent person or else I would be concerned that you might abuse the power to declare anyone (US citizen or not) an enemy combatant, have them arrested and detained forever, never once let them talk to a family member, lawyer, or judge, and do whatever you want to them without any regards for human decency as set out by the Geneva Conventions. This seems like an astonishly despotic power, but I know in your capable hands it will never once be abused. Congratulations on finding a way to keep me safer than ever! I applaud your efforts, and perhaps before January 2009 you can find a way to make yourself permanent ruler of these great United States. Thank you for your time oh great and infallible leader.
Sincerely,
Adam Bever
