When Sleepiness Leads to Psychosis (or
How to Have Cuter Feet in Thirteen Easy Steps):
you'll need the following items:
1 bone saw
1 pair latex gloves
1 bottle rubbing alcohol
1 shoe/sandal model
1 bottle chloroform
10 rags
1 staple gun
20 tubes of neosporin
1 package assorted bandaids
1 bottle 1000mg ibuprofen
2 dumpsters
instructions:
1) track down a girl with cute feet from a sandal/shoe advertisement
2) put on your latex gloves and apply chloroform to a rag. cover the model's nose and mouth until she passes out
3) take a handful of ibuprofen
4) use the bone saw to cut her feet off (soak up any blood with the rags)
5) wash your own feet in rubbing alcohol to prevent infection
6) saw your own feet off
7) staple her feet onto your legs
8) rub plenty of neosporin around your ankles
9) liberally apply bandaids to the affected area
10) take another handful of ibuprofen
11) dispose of model's body in a dumpster and your old feet in a separate dumpster (very important!)
12) enjoy your cute new feet!
13) don't bother pointing out the fact that i'm going to hell
- taken from my comments on Jenny's blog where she asked for advice on how to make her feet cuter